He wants to quit, but I'm not sure that this is the right decision. I have this idea ingrained in me that he should finish, no matter what.

 

Anyone can learn to stick with something. You just stop thinking and feeling and muddle through to the end.

 

The real trick is learning when to stick something out and when to cut your losses. To learn to assess when something is providing less than what it's taking.

 

Is a few more swimming lessons worth the price your son is paying in feeling he is being held prisoner by money, you, the teacher, society's thoughts of him as a quitter?

 

What if you decided to take a class and you felt half way through that you weren't getting enough out of it and it was draining too much from you? There's a huge huge difference between you deciding you want to stick it out so as not to waste the money or become a quitter and your husband saying you must stick it out for those reasons

 

 

I've got to trust that she can recognize what she needs when she needs it. And recognize what she doesn't need. But I can certainly offer resources. That's how I envision my role, as a mentor or a resource person if she asks. Is that the idea?

 

That's my idea too :-)

 

Sometimes it helps to picture your husband doing to you whatever you feel is necessary to do to your child. Would you want him to spend 6 months urging you to keep going to something? Would the fact that you ended up liking it justify his coercion?

 

I think going twice is enough. My daughter thinks once :-)

 

Yes, I think she'll miss out on some things if she makes the decision after trying something (that she chose to do on her own) once. But the world is full of opportunities and that one thing won't make or break her life.

 

If I suggest giving a movie 15 minutes and she decides she doesn't like it after that 15 minutes but the next 15 minutes would have turned her around and it would have turned out to be one of her favorite movies, well, oh well! There's lots of movies in the world! And she has lots of life left to perhaps get past that first 15 minutes some time in the future. Because if I push her that extra 15 minutes and I'm wrong the damage is far worse than if she misses out on something.

 

Every time she makes a decision, she's learning more about herself and learning more about making decisions. :-