I do respect my kids
I do respect my children, as you do yours. I do not try to control every aspect of their lives.
I think all decent parents will say they respect their kids.
But if we actually look objectively at how we treat them, it ends up looking incredibly disrespectful. Not everything, certainly, but more than we realized.
Parents in general speak to kids in ways they'd never speak to another adult, or at least not one they cared about! Conventional parenting is rife with disrespect for children but it's common practice so we don't even notice.
We decide that since we "have to" go to the store, it's just part of life and kids have to put up with it like we do.
"We have to leave now! 1 ... 2 ... 3 ..." "You made the mess. You have to clean it up." (That one came back to me and boy did it sound mean!) "I've been buying you things all day. Do you think I'm made of money?" "No, the food at the mall's too expensive. We can wait until we get home to eat." "No, you can't do that until you're done cleaning up." "Turn off that game now. You've had enough for today."
And those are the more obvious ones.
Conventional parenting basically seeks to mold kids to the parents' liking. It's incredibly disrespectful.
Here's a YouTube video of "momisms" written and sung by Anita Renfroe to the tune of the William Tell OVerture:
(Lyrics, which are captioned on the video, but if the video disappeares: Lyrics: Anita Renfroe - William Tell Total Momsense)
All the moms in the audience cheer becuase they agree that's how it is and how it has to be. But if you picture what she says as a day spent with your husband or boss saying those things to you, I'm betting you wouldn't feel either loved or respected regardless if that was the intent or not! But just because all those are direspectful doesn't mean you're without tools if you give them up. It's a matter of turning your vision around and figuring out how you'd like to be treated in the same situation.
Here's some lists I came across as I was repairing the YouTube link:
Things My Mother Taught Me - This is several places on the internet. If the link goes bad, the first line you can search on is "My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE...' If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!'"
A little "birdy" told me!
A little soap and water never killed anybody.
Act your age!
All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
Answer me when I ask you a question!
Are you deaf or something?
Are you going out dressed like that?
Are you lying to me?
Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!
As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.
Because I'm your mother that's why.
Beds are NOT made for jumping on.
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Clean up after yourself!
Close the door! You don't live in a barn.
Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food!
Did you brush your teeth?
Did you clean your room?
Did you comb your hair?
Did you flush?
Did you use soap in that shower?
Do as I say, not as I do.
Do I have to send you a written invitation?! Sit down and eat!
Do you live to annoy me?
Do you think I'm made of money?
Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.
Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.
Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.
Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way.
Don't eat that, you'll get worms!
Don't eat those, they will stunt your growth.
Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Don't make me come in there!
Don't make me get up!
Don't make me stop this car!
Don't make me tell you again.
Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected.
Don't pick your nose in public.
Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
Don't roll your eyes at me.
Don't run in the house.
Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
Don't stay up too late!
Don't talk with your mouth full!
Don't use that tone with me!
Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!
Don't you have anything better to do?
Eat the crust on the bread - it'll make your hair curly.
Eat your carrots - they're good for your eyes!
Eat your vegetables, they're good for you.
Enough is enough!
Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose)
Go ask your father.
Go play outside! It's a beautiful day!
Go to your room and think about what you did!
Going to a party? Who's going to be there?
Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?
How many times do I have to tell you?
I always love you, but I don't always like you.
I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
I can always tell when you're lying.
I can't believe you can sleep in this filth!
I can't believe you did that!
I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"
I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
I don't care who started it, I said stop!
I don't care who started it, YOU stop it!
I don't have to explain myself. I said no.
I don't know how you turned out the way you did!
I don't know is NOT an answer.
I hope someday you have children just like you.
I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth!
I just want what's best for you.
I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it.
I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?!
I was not put on this earth to entertain you.
I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
I wouldn't make you do it if I didn't love you.
I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
I'm doing this for your own good.
I'm going to give you until the count of three...
I'm going to skin you alive!
I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you.
I'm not everyone else's mother - I'm your mother.
I'm not going to ask you again.
I'm not running a taxi service.
I'm not talking just to hear my own voice!
I'm not your cleaning lady!
I'm not your maid!
I'm not your waitress!
I've got eyes in the back of my head, that's how
I've had it up to here with you.
If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there!
If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!
If I've told you once ... I've told you a thousand times.
If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
If wishes were horses...
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.
If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
If you don't eat those, you will stunt your growth.
If you don't quit that, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.
If you don't stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!
If you fall out of that tree and break your leg , don't come running to me.
If you keep acting like a baby, I'll start treating you like one.
If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.
If you'd open your eyes as big as you open your mouth maybe you'd find it!
If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.
Is your homework finished?
Isn't it past your bedtime?
It's no use crying over spilt milk.
It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
Just wait till your father gets home.
Leave your sister (brother) alone!
Let's see - the last time I wore your shoes, I left them ...
Life isn't fair.
Little pitchers have big ears.
Look at me when I'm talking to you.
Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
Money does NOT grow on trees.
No child of MINE would do something like that.
No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them!
Nobody asked you.
Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!
Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
Over my dead body!
Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
Pick up your feet.
Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear.
Running away? I'll help you pack.
Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
Running away? Send me a postcard when you get there!
Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
Shut the door! I'm not heating (air conditioning) the entire neighborhood!
Shut your mouth and eat.
So it's raining? You're not sugar -- you won't melt.
So what if Bob's mom let him do it? If Bob's mom let him jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
Some day you will thank me for this.
Someday your face will freeze like that
Someone is going to end up crying.
Someone's going to end up getting hurt!
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
Think of those poor starving children in India... (or China, or Africa.)
This hurts me more than it hurts you.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
Turn that racket (music) down!
Watch your language!
Watch your mouth!
Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a PITCHER?
Well, people in Hell want ice water too!
Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!
What did I say the FIRST time?
What do I look like, your maid?!
What do you mean carry you? I carried you for nine months!
What do you think, money grows on trees?
What have I done to deserve such ungrateful children?
What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
What part of NO don't you understand?
When did your last slave die?
When I was a little girl...
When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
When I was your age...
When will you be back?
When you have kids of your own you'll understand.
When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
Where are you going?
Where do YOU think you're going?
Who are you going with? Do I know them?
Who died and left you boss?
Who do you think you are - the Queen of Sheba?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you're talking to?
Who said life was going to be easy?
Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house!
Who'll end up walking, bathing and feeding it...?
Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
Wipe your feet!
Yes, I *AM* the boss of you.
You are getting on my last nerve.
You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
You can go out to play...after you've done your homework.
You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I didn't wear it!
You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I'm not the maid!
You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem.
You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
You can't start the day on an empty stomach.
You could grow potatoes in those ears!
You could have called.
You don't always get what you want. It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
You don't have to like me - I'm your mother.
You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
You have an answer for everything, don't you?
You just ate an hour ago!
You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
You made your bed, now lie in it.
You must get that from your father's side of the family.
You must think rules are made to be broken.
You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!
You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
You'll miss me when I'm gone!
You'll never live to see 16!
You'll understand when you're older.
You're going to put your eye out with that thing!
You're the oldest. You should know better.
Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
Your shoes have to be somewhere they didn't walk out of the house by themselves!
Last updated: April 2009