Letting go of controls on television is one of my biggest challenges. I have a difficult time seeing the merit in so much of the drivel on television.

Try not to think of it as drivel as a starter! ;-)

Do you judge all magazines by Hustler?

If you loved a soap opera and really looked forward to that hour a day you spent with it think about the difference between your husband's attitude toward you if he thought of the soap as drivel or if he took pleasure in the pleasure you got out of watching something you enjoyed. Think how the different attitudes would make the atmosphere in the house feel and how you'd feel about him, especially when you wanted to watch a soap opera and he was in the house.

My husband and I rented Lord of the Rings. My 8 yr. old really wanted to see it. It was late when we sat down to watch it - so she was already in bed. After viewing it - I thought it too scary, with the monsters and all... I told her this, and she "promised not to have nightmares" - like one could promise such a thing ;-)

I think she needs 2 things: 1) the feeling that she's in control so she can stop whenever she wants or skip whatever she wants and 2) the feeling that the control won't be taken away from her. If she has the feeling that something like watching a PG-13 movie will be forbidden if she ends up with nightmares, she may force herself to stay for parts that trouble her because the opportunity to watch something like this may be taken away and this may be her only chance. If she knows it will always be an option to use her own judgment and learn from misjudgments, she'll test and get a feel for her own limits. She will misjudge some things, but that's part of the process.

I recently took a 2 week stab at letting the kids watch unfettered TV and they watched at least 5 hours a day.

And if you couldn't read because your husband restricted it to a few books and the few minutes he felt were acceptable, what would happen if he let go of the controls for a while and let you read whatever you wanted for how ever long you wanted?

I assume you can freely read whatever and whenever you want. Why don't you read "junk" all the time?

Maybe you do read junk all the time. By my definition of junk. Maybe you'd think I was reading nothing but junk. But isn't what counts what you find valuable not what someone else finds valuable?

As soon as we messed with some wires and mysteriously the VCR "broke,"

So it will be okay when they don't like something that you're doing for them to lie to you to make you stop? Say if they don't like you restricting their TV viewing it will be okay if they unknown to you watch TV in the middle of the night or say they're going to visit a friend but go to a TV store and watch TV. That will be okay?

That's the type of problem solving you're modeling for them: When one person wants someone else to stop doing something then the ends justify whatever means are needed. Values can be dropped or picked up depending on convenience.

We are lucky in that we have no TV reception where we live, so it's videos or nothing.

And if a parent didn't like books, it would be really lucky for the parent that they didn't live near any bookstores or libraries.

Would it be lucky for the kids?

I've read the positive writings in the unschooling world about TV, and I just don't agree with them. There are just MUCH better uses for our time.

And if your husband felt you'd be better off spending your time doing more cooking or cleaning than on the computer, how would that feel?

I vote that you disconnect the TV or limit its use dramatically. If they don't have TV, they will have to do something else, and will likely be drawn to a variety of interesting pursuits.

I think your husband should disconnect your computer so you can do more productive things.

Sounds pretty harsh and yucky doesn't it?