Rejoycing - If I let them they'd watch TV all day long

What if your husband controlled your book reading (or something you love to do)? What if he only let you read books that he thought were worthwhile (regardless of what you thought was enjoyable to you)? What if he only allowed you to read for a certain amount each day and you couldn't read 3 magazines in a row? What if you had the feeling he was watching and judging you every time you picked up something to read to make sure you were making a"worthwhile' choice?

What do you think you'd do if he gave you free rein (as well as no other responsibilities) on Saturdays?

If I do nothing, they'd watch tv and play video games all day.

You don't know this. You do know how they behave when they know that the TV will be controlled. You don't know how they would behave if they knew they could watch it any time they wanted for as long as they wanted.

It's the same with judgments about kids in school. People are certain their kids would not learn anything unless they were made to. And they base that judgment on their kids' behavior when they're out of school: they do nothing but play and turn their noses up at anything remotely resembling school work. Is that because the kids are naturally anti-learning or because so very little of their time is theirs to call their own?

You're basing your judgment on controlled kids. We have kids who have no controls who don't spend all day watching TV and playing video games. At my house we have several hundred channels with satellite. My daughter has 5 game systems (mostly used that she bought with her own money!) They're off way more than they're on.

I guess if they watched something more worthwhile I wouldn't be so freaky about it. That's just my opinion though.

Can you know what they're getting from the shows? What does a baby get from banging a pot? Does it look like it's a pathway to corporate president?

Have you tried watching with them and asking what it is they enjoy? Have you watched them watching and appreciated the joy?

How do people learn good judgment? Is it from being told what is good? Or is it from trying out everything as though it were all equal and rejecting the stuff that doesn't meet their needs and taking advantage of the stuff that does.

I'd much rather read a good humorous mystery than War and Peace. But most people "in the know" would say War and Peace is "worthwhile" while the mystery isn't. But I find the mystery suits my needs far better than War and Peace (based on my conception of it anyway.) What does that say about me? I can't imagine living in a house where I had to choose from an approved list of "worthwhile" books or nothing.

I watched huge amounts of TV when I was a kid. Lots of junk. I loved junk. Brady Bunch. Gilligan's Island. Spanky and our Gang. Three Stooges. Lost in Space. Land of the Giants. (Which is all now classic junk ;-) Historical movies. Movies that were historical because they were old. Loved Saturday cartoons. Loved Saturday and Sunday matinee movies. My parents were great about not judging. They just let me watch. I absorbed stuff about social history and comedy and what people thought was funny in the 30's and 40's and 50's. I know all sorts of little factoids and I don't know where I learned them but I bet it was TV. (I'm pretty good at Jeopardy ;-)

I'm also a decent person, went to a semi-prestigious college and majored in Electrical Engineering.